WEEK 47 · NOVLIVE
Post-Thanksgiving turkey pho with burnt-chili oil.
// chef - creator - strictly off-menu abs
I cook the food. I film the food. I out-eat the food before it cools.
Sakari here. Half chef by training, half creator by accident, full-time hype man for an eight-pack that subsists on a suspiciously steady diet of pasta and brown rice. The crab salad below got Sakari fired from a line job, hired by an agency, and into a scented candle collab. Scroll for the receipts.
POSTING - WEEKLYBASED - BROOKLYN, NYPRONOUNS - THEY / THEM
the dish that
got me signed
got me signed
// THE TRI-FECTA
Three jobs. One Sakari. The pan stays the same size.
- 01
AS A CHEF
What the stove doesn't get, the sourdough starter eventually does.
Sakari trained under a guy who yelled in three languages and counted tweezers like watches. Today the kitchens are smaller, the plating is louder, and the rice cooker is the only sous chef still on staff. Everything is plated once and eaten twice.
TRAINING - 8 YRS - 02
AS A CREATOR
Forty-seven recipe videos. Eleven kitchen disasters. One crab salad.
The camera rig lives on a stand next to the espresso machine. Episodes are shot in two takes - the first one is real, the second one is for social. Sakari edits in the locked bathroom because it has the best acoustics and the worst lighting, both on purpose.
SHOW - WEEKLY - 03
AS THE GUY WITH ABS
Eight percent body fat. One plate of rigatoni per plank. Compound lifts twice a week.
Sakari does not post gym selfies. Sakari posts gym selfies, candidly, with the dinner plate cropped in the corner. The ab routine drops every Monday and the only crunch Sakari doesn't recommend is the one on the saffron invoice.
PRs - BOTH CATEGORIES
// FEATURED · DEMO #0272.4M VIEWS
The Adirondacks crab & corn salad demo.
One August morning. A cooler of crab, six ears of sweet corn, and a lake-facing prep table on a borrowed porch. The video got picked up by half the food internet in 72 hours. Sakari's fridge still smells like lime.
Heart Lake - Pie in the Sky Porch - August 2024on camera 1 / props stolen 0
The Adirondacks Crab & Corn Salad - Episode 027
// THE RECIPE - DON'T OVERTHINK IT
- 01
Boil the corn. Char two ears.
Sweet corn goes in for 4 minutes. Two more ears hit a dry cast-iron pan for the smoky top notes Sakari insists are essential.
- 02
Pick the crab. Keep it cold.
Lump crab, juices and all, kept on ice. Nobody asked for the mayo yet, and nobody is getting it.
- 03
Squeeze the lime. Be mean about it.
Two limes, one heavy hand, a little fish sauce on the side for the cousins who didn't grow up here.
- 04
Toss like you mean it.
Corn, crab, cherry tomatoes, shallot, herbs. Toss once. Plate once. Do not toss again, do not photograph it from above twice.
"We drove upstate for the corn. We came home with a 2.4 million-view spa appointment and a candle deal. The candle smells like the lake. I cannot prove this in court."
// RECENT DROPS - IN ORDER OF HOW LOUD THEY WERE
(a partial log. the rest are on every platform you have.)
WEEK 45 · OCT
Pasta carbonara but the egg is brown-butter cured.
WEEK 42 · SEP
Every knife in the drawer ranked by personality.
WEEK 38 · AUG
Adirondacks crab & corn salad on a borrowed porch.
WEEK 35 · AUG
Three abs exercises that don't need a gym.
// STRICTLY OFF-MENU
The abs that never asked to share a kitchen with a deep fryer.
Sakari is, in their own words, "suspiciously proud, in a way that has cost me a side of fries and at least one pasta night." The routine posts Mondays, the form is debatable, and the dinner plate is always cropped in the frame.
// A SCIENTIFICALLY APPROXIMATE RENDERING. // ABS NOT TO SCALE. PASTA PORTION TO TASTE.
WINTER 20258%
body fat, give or take a holiday
APR - SEP47
followers per ab on a good day
RECORD1×
plate of rigatoni per plank minute
DON'T @ ME0
rest days - kitchen days don't count
// WORK WITH SAKARI
Briefs, demos, cameos, and the occasional saffron-sponsored candor.
Sakari reads every email between the third and fourth set. The fastest way to get a yes is to send a clear ask, a budget range, and at least one sentence that doesn't mention "partnership" or "align on a vibe."